Tomkoz's Journal

2:08am: hey livejournal, i will miss our nine year anniversary together, i remember it like it was just yesterday, for i will be on a bike tour.

i've been preparing for it for some of the summer, and am not in the physical shape i'd like to be but whatever, like nike says, and despite your opinion on the company "just do it" is actually a pretty sweet motto. anyway, i will be just doing it tomorrow morning. got my bike from our local bike co-op, got my home made "paniers" which are square buckets from a bakery nearby and my insanely expensive new sleeping bag that literarily fits in the palm of your hand!

tomorrow i find out how much distance i can cover in a day. my plan is to do around 50km a day camping wherever i end up that night, in cool places like sodom state forest in upstate new york, and if it's easy to cover that ground in a day i may have a few 100km days so that i can also have a few zero km days where i chillax and jump in lakes. i expect to eat a lot of instant noodles, trail mix and instant noodles with trail mix in it.

the reason i'm writing here though is because i may actually die on the trip, so just want to outline what you should do with my lifeless sack of meat should that happen.

organs, donated to people who need them
cremate the rest of me, which i think the organ donation places do?
bury those ashes preferably on a hill and plant a hardwood climbable tree in me, something like a maple or an elm

if anyone wants my stuff they can have it, if multiple people want the same thing, it's a rock paper scissors tournament best of at least three for it, otherwise to the salvation army

sorry for not telling you as often as i could have (i.e. never) how much i loved you, which sounds cheesy so i never said it, and i have problems with the term anyway, but you rule and i'm glad you were part of my life, your presence in some way has made me into the person i am now. (well, was, before i went and got myself killed. you helped me become a total moron!)

if i have any parting advice for you it's that you should keep learning, life is unfair and you can literally die any day so don't get too complacent. don't wait, just do it. don't be an idiot about it, but just do it.

that stuff's way easier to tell other people than to actually do yourself, but it just seems like a good idea.

anyway, i won't actually die, but, just so you know, you rule

12:21pm: Special Treat: "Poetry" on Livejournal!
i rode my bike on the weekend and when i was squatting in someone's woods outside of arnprior, i had some downtime so i wrote a "sonnet", and since there's nothing else to do with this kind of stuff, here you go livejournal! also, i wasn't sure what the rhyme scheme of a sonnet was. hopefully the livejournal critical audience won't make me john keats myself.



Using power from your body and mind
Solve mechanical puzzles that arise
Your feet and bike leave The City behind
Smelling corn blossoms that feed city lives

What you really need on your horse's back
Toward the sunset and a bowl of beans
Pickups slicing past blaring classic rock
These: two incongruous philosophies

Sore ass, shaky arms, sunburnt face, sore knees
Stillness turned to wind, a perfect slow-fast
Your bike rests as you nap beneath tall treest
Life at the black and white speed of the past

Sleeping in a farmer's field you will find
The rest meaningful exhaustion supplies

10:30pm: hey livejournal!

it's my summer project to do a backflip. so far i've only hurt myself but got ok at half-flips and like cartwheels and stuff.

it's also my summer project to do a long bike ride where i sleep in the woods or like people's backyards or something. (sorry for all the "like"s, gag me with a spoon) i've been planning on doing it for years and just have to actually finally do it. this year's the year!

it's my life goal to be able to play the violin. i bought my first one probably ten years ago, and i can almost passably play "kiss from a rose" on it.

it was today's goal to do pretty much nothing and i did! played some board games, music, read books, did some fishtank maintenance, ate an entire pineapple, lay around naked!

i do job interviews at work now which is hilarious. it really messes with your real life cause we interview billions of people and not everyone gets the job even if i'm nice to them in the interview and so i see people in the street who i recognize and am like "hey! what's up!?" and they're like "..." haha.

i have work benefits for the first time ever, and an eye doctor appointment with the best guy in town (according to ratemds), so i'll have glasses pretty soon. according to youtube videos what i need for my face shape is straight frames that make my face not look so long. so next time you see me i'll be bespectacled probably.

feels as though given the infrequency of these posts i could think of something important to write in here!

i really do miss the livejournal experience. i like you guys. i like your opinions, and i like reading your takes on the world, but i just have so much less computer time now than i did. and also, in a moment of holy-shit self reflection i added up how much time i spent computing completely useless stuff over the years. should have spent that time practicing violin!

i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up. i wonder if that ever materializes or if you just kinda get stuck with whatever you've got. maybe a secretary forever?

two lessons that dead family members have taught me are fundamentally that 1: life is not fair. it isn't. there is no cosmic justice that readjusts when you "deserve" it. and 2: the nazis are coming at any moment and what seems like a totally stable life/style can collapse pretty much instantly!

not sure how to use that info but it seems right to codify it here in live-immortality.

i may get another tattoo.

sorry if that was boring, my brain doesn't work in the same way it used to

8:08pm: fractionally assed post
hey livejournalists,

the funny thing is i actually have lots of stuff to say, but i think finally, the internet's not the place for it. i'd like to talk to people in real life. i think this means my very serious authorial prime is over! here's hoping the russians don't erase ten years of livejournal!

some highlights of things you've missed include my mother selling the house i grew up in, various fish related stuff, still keeping the same job which is insane and in september i'll be a door to door salesman for a year, some happy things, some sad things, some food things, still not really feeling like "travel" which is bizarre, wanting to do a bike-camping trip, not having any money, making wine, taking a continuing education class on leonard cohen with my mother (which was hi-larious, btw). extreme!

see you soonish!